To the end of 2011.....

I cannot believe it is here.

A whole entire year over, and a new one to be born. I think Im supposed to plan or create some kind of plan for the year...so I will have some direction. My bestest friend said yesterday that she was planning her new horizons. I so admire and love her. She seems to always have it together. Even so, I know that even she has her moments of "Uh? really? Now what?" Those who fail to plan, plan to fail, she said. I so agree with that statement but unfortunately, I always lose sight of my plan before some other "thing" happens.....LIKE...potato, Squirrel....I saw a rock....How did I end up in Arizona???? That would possibly be me, however, no matter how great my plans in this life have been, I always seem to never quite make it. I dont say this to be whaawhaa.....but just matter-o-factually the way it is... I believe in my own heart that it is the way it is because it is supposed to be this way, and the "me" that has been formed would not necessarily be the "me" I am, if my plans had been attained. So this year Im going to take a different perspective and try to just relax.


Since I was a little girl, I have always felt I was never good enough. My hair wasnt pretty because I couldnt have a haircut, my dad didnt like the idea of us girls cutting our hair. I couldnt go certain places because it wasnt allowed. I thought I wasnt pretty, as the other girls were. I thought my grades were not good enough, though I ranked I believe 19th in my graduating class of 189 people...not quite top ten percent, but pretty darn close. When I married, I wanted babies so badly, the year we waited was torture. Then the children started coming and then...I wasnt measuring up. Especially when my oldest pulled the fire alarm during church services. He had to be taken out because he wanted to run up and down the isles of the church.....My house was never clean enough. OH and JOY school, the co op preschool that rotated from house to house with our preschool aged kids....lets not forget about that. My snack I sent never was as clever, my house was SOOOO never clean and my meals were burned. Then, guess what? The family I so dreamed of dissolved. Poof! Oh well, start that plan over again. This cycle continued .....Up until about 2007, I really honestly did worry about what OTHERS thought or measured me to be AS SUCH. In 2007 I started to get sick....and I had to realize what mattered most were things that could not be counted, changed or measured. Love mattered most.

One thing I never have had a problem with is knowing that GOD loved me. That I am specially and wonderfully made into a person that HE loves. I didnt realized how profound that was, until I heard Joseph*s Lullaby by MercyMe this year. I think it came out last year, but it just stunned me and made me realize how blind we are in this life, leading each other. Just think how much FAITH God had in Mary and Joseph, to send his only child to be born as an infant, helpless..... held, fed, changed, carried into Egypt and then out again, taught to walk, talk and read, write....all the things that mommy and daddys do. You cant "plan" how to parent a child. It just happens.


So this year Im just going to try to concentrating on keeping my path narrow, to love the LORD with all my heart, and that should spill over onto the path and goals that are righteous and true and kind, and what He wants for me. For God does have a PLAN for me. Even if I cant seem to stick to one. God is much bigger than religion, and Im not going to measure myself anymore as to the world's goals. Just be Rhea. The name that is lovingly called to me by my Savior. I know that nickname is what He knows me by.

Wouldnt it be wonderful if 2012 didnt finish...and the Savior came and took us home before 2013??? What an answer to prayer that would be!

God Bless everyone near and far and remember that its not the PLAN that will get you where you want to be, it is the intent that will keep you moving there.

Thoughts about our body.....

I'm not drop dead gorgeous... I haven't gotten an amazing figure or a flat stomach... I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm me... I eat junk food, love to wear my PJ's, and no make-up... I'm random and crazy, And I don't pretend to be someone I'm not... I am who I am, love me or not, I wont change ME!!!!

Im almost HOME...will be there Wednesday. God is good all the time, and we have exactly the body he wants us to have. Its what we do with them that is o...ur choice. I choose to follow the path that the LORD has called for me. Sometimes our body is made to extract compassion from others and have them learn the simple gift of unconditional love, Sometimes it could be a body that has so much stregnth that one person can carry a load of many, and many depend upon them. Sometimes this body is told to stay or move. I was told to move in 2009 starting in January. I kept telling my mom and dad it didnt make sense, but I felt there was a big change coming in my life. I told my kids that too. They will remember it at times, other times all they can remember is the moving truck being loaded and momma going away. Sometimes it doesnt make sense...quitting an awesome job....leaving kids behind....leaving other things you are supposed to be committed to. But I guess Im a little like Andrew and Peter....I just knew...and I left everything standing where it was. My first son is named Andrew for a Reason. He was the first one God blessed me with...and one of the first that Jesus chose to follow him. I pray for my Andrew every day